My Wife Was Devastated When She Discovered Why My Libido Had Returned

A year ago, I found myself in front of a kind, sympathetic man, telling him something I never thought I'd find myself discussing; that matters in the bedroom had taken a distressingly downward turn.

Then aged 67, the medication I'd started taking for high cholesterol and diabetes two years earlier had left me frequently unable to perform - and it was having a devastating impact on my emotional well-being.

I can happily talk to Elizabeth, my wife of 25 years, about most things. But this was one area I just couldn't bring myself to discuss with her.

Which is how I found myself in the office of a sex therapist.

Elizabeth would have been mortified at the thought of me telling a stranger about our intimacy issues. But after two distressing years of struggling to maintain an erection, I needed some professional reassurance.

However, I wasn't just doing this for me; sex has always been an important part of our relationship, particularly to Elizabeth. I didn't want to let her down, or drive a wedge between us. I knew she equated my struggles with a lack of desire for her - which couldn't be further from the case.

After going through my medical history, the therapist agreed my medication - including statins - was probably to blame. I left his office with a prescription for Viagra. In all honesty I couldn't wait to get my hands on it.

Just as I didn't tell Elizabeth about visiting the therapist, I didn't tell her when I started taking Viagra.




Hundreds of men commented online that they had found themselves in a similar situation, unable to get an erection

I genuinely didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I'm sure many women talk to medical professionals - or indeed their friends - about their sex life without discussing it with their husband beforehand. And many probably don't tell their husbands if they're taking HR

/>But, suffice it to say, that decision backfired.

/>As she revealed in Secrets & Lives last week, when Elizabeth discovered I'd secretly been taking Viagra for months, she was devastated. Despite my best efforts, she wrongly believed my need for pharmaceutical support was proof I was no longer attracted to her, leaving her hurt and humiliate

/>I can see now I was wrong not to tell her - and naive in assuming she wouldn't find out.

/>But I was heartened to see the hundreds of men commenting online that they had found themselves in my situation - and 정품비아그라 confirming there is a very real difference between not 'wanting' to have sex with someone and not being physically able t

/>Unfortunately, it's not something we talk about. But I hope, by sharing my  side of things, I can stop other men from feeling how I did: that I was a failur

/>As a young man I'd always prided myself on my performance. When I met my first wife aged 25, I was confident I knew how to sexually satisfy a woman. Neither of us wanted children, so we just focused on having fun. I assumed she was as happy as I wa

/>Yet as my civil service career progressed and my working hours increased, things in the bedroom did taper off, particularly by our late 30



/>Read Mo


/>After years of bad sex, my husband's libido suddenly returned. This is the reason...


/>Even so, it came as a bolt from the blue when she left me for another man. My pride took a real den

/>When I found out - after our divorce was finalised - that she'd actually cheated on me multiple times, I was left wondering if I was doing something wrong, or if I just wasn't good enough. A year later, I was still processing what had happene

/>But when, aged 40, I was introduced to Elizabeth by a friend, I just knew she was the one.

/>We discovered we were very sexually compatible. She's a big talker and explained, tactfully but directly, how she liked to receive pleasure. And over the decades our enthusiastic love life has underpinned our happy marriag

/>Her menopausal years were tough on both of us, and our sex life suffered for a while, but then things went back to normal - until my own medical issues reared their head. At 65, I was told my high cholesterol would require me taking medication for lif

/>The first time I realised something was amiss was when we'd gone away for the weekend to a boutique hotel, two months after I'd started taking the drugs. My spirit was more than willing, but my body wouldn't comply. I told Elizabeth I must just be exhausted after the long driv

/>But I knew something wasn't right. And after that, 비아그라구매사이트 it just kept happening - though I could never predict wh

/>When you satisfy a woman you feel like the king of the world. But when things go awry, it's hugely stressful. And unlike women, men can't fake




/>'The way I see it, Viagra is just HRT for men - and we'd all benefit from treating it as such,' says St

/>The build up to sex became anxiety inducing; I'd often be stressed and irritable hours before.<

/>Even when sex was spontaneous I'd still suffer performance anxiety, my spiral of negative thoughts bringing on failure within seconds. Afterwards, my whole day would be tainted by my failu

/>While Elizabeth never said as much, I was sure it was troubling her too.<

/>And it meant confronting my increasing age and vulnerability. As dramatic as it sounds, it was a reminder of my mortali

/>In the moments I 'lost' it, I'd find a way to blame Elizabeth, accusing her of putting me off my stride with something she'd said, or by glancing at her phone. I knew I wasn't being fair, but it was easier than admitting the tru

/>On the occasions I did succeed, 시알리스사이트 I'd feel elated. It was a rollercoaster of emotions; I'd go from wanting to try all the time to avoiding sex for we

r />Part of me knew I was being ridiculous, yet I felt like my whole ego rested on it. Us men are a lot more sensitive than women real

r />Which was what led me to that therapist's door 정품비아그라 - and then to a chemists 15 miles away from our home to pick up my Viagrascriptript

r />The first time I took it, I was petrified Elizabeth would immediately sense something was differ

r />But while she did notice the sex was good, and things went on for longer than we'd been used to of late, she didn't seem to suspect anything. I was so delighted I bought her flowers the next

r />With those little blue pills in my arsenal, I felt a huge sense of relief. The guarantee sex was going to happen every time I took one transformed my mood and daily outlook. Suddenly I felt like a 'real man' again. Soon, I was taking half a tablet - which I'd found sufficient - every time we made l

r />While Elizabeth didn't comment on my renewed virility, after a couple of weeks she confided she'd noticed some newfound discomfort, blaming herself for experiencing post-menopausal vaginal dryn

r />I agreed with her that was probably the case. But secretly, I knew it was likely down to the differences I'd noticed between my 'normal' erection and a Viagra-induced

r />It wasn't my finest hour. But I was so overjoyed at being able to perform I told myself the key thing was I was sexually satisfying her ag

r />As you know from Elizabeth's account, my deception spectacularly blew up in my face.

r />While I knew Elizabeth would be upset and 비아그라구매사이트 hurt once she discovered I'd been secretly using Viagra, stumbling across the pills in my washbag, I hadn't appreciated just how angry she would be - that she would see if as a sign I no longer desired

br />During that awful week when she would barely talk to me, I realised how foolish I'd been in not being straight with her from the beginning. By not telling her, I'd hurt us both. No matter how many times I told her my using Viagra had absolutely nothing to do with how I felt towards her, she wouldn't listen. I feared I might lose

br />Thankfully we're now at a point, a year on, where we agree to disagree about my use of Viagra

br />I appreciate why Elizabeth still isn't keen on the additional support, so sometimes I go without. But it means all my worries come back, which makes sex feel like hard work. And what man wants to dread the thought of sex with his gorgeous

br />So I'm relieved on those occasions when there's three of us in bed: Elizabeth, me and my blue pill

br />I'd tell any man struggling like I was not to feel ashamed, and to tell his partner if he's feeling in need of an extra boost. The way I see it, Viagra is just HRT for men - and we'd all benefit from treating it as

br />* Steve Smith is a pseudonym. All names have been changed

br />* As told to Samantha Brick